Undercover Nun finds it profoundly sad that any parent would have to field this question from their children during the pre-game show for a sporting match.  It’s a difficult enough question to broach anytime, especially with boys.  But in this context, with sports heroes who are idolized by children as perfect role models, well, it just sucks.

How, for example, do you explain this to your children?

Michael Vick got two years in jail for torturing dogs, but it seems that these flashy athletes can get away with torturing women by having good lawyers, blaming the women, and/or eventually buying them off. As a coach of young athletes, I know how much the pro stars serve as role models, for good or ill. These players don’t have to be saints, but allegations of sexual assault obviously cross the line into an area that can’t be just swept under the rug.

Or this, this sickening statement by a sportscaster?

The line that stuck in my craw, written by a sportswriter before the game, was that Roethlisberger might have been able to find redemption with a Super Bowl victory. Really? Win a football game and you are redeemed from reported actions of sexual assault? Despite how much I like Steelers coach Mike Tomlin, I really hoped Ben would lose the game. As a dad and Little League coach, I’m disgusted by Roethlisberger’s behavior, and I wouldn’t want a Super Bowl win that would be seen by anyone as “redeeming” it.

(emphases mine)

Undercover Nun does believe, as Christians must, that any person can be redeemed, no matter how abominable his or her sin.  And I know that God works in mysterious ways.  But I really doubt that redemption tends to happen in the glitz and flashiness of a Super Bowl.  Rather, that redemption tends to be fairly quiet and inward, something other people never see except by its fruits.

I don’t remember ever having a “What is rape?” talk with my parents.  I picked up on the meaning of rape from my reading, in classical mythology and in other forms of fiction.  Nor have I had a rape talk with either of my children.  I suspect that, despite how uncomfortable it would make them, I should.

So here’s a question: Have you talked with your kids about rape, sexual violence, and sexual abuse?  Or, if you’re not there yet, did your parents address these subjects with you?  If so, how?

Another question: There are lots of “birds and the bees” books out there, to help parents in having The Talk.  Do you know of any books that help parents in discussing sexual violence with their kids?  Especially ones that address the different approaches you’d take in discussing rape with boys or with girls?