Dear Entire World,

Mark Driscoll is not a typical Christian.  I promise you, the majority of us by far do our best to embrace the infinite loving-kindness of God, as shown to us in the person of Jesus.  While none of us is perfect, we do know that we must value and respect all persons. We know that, while sex and gender and orientation are fundamental to our identity as a person, these have absolutely nothing to do with God’s love for anyone.  We agree with Rachel Held Evans when she says:

Mark Driscoll is wrong. 

Godly men stick up for people, not make fun of them.

Godly men honor women, not belittle them. 

Godly men love their gay and lesbian neighbors, not ridicule them. 

Godly men celebrate femininity, not trash it.

Godly men own their sexuality, not flaunt it. 

Godly men pursue peace, not dismiss it. 

Godly men rise above violence, not glorify it. 

Godly men build up the Church, not embarrass it. 

Godly men imitate Christ—who praised the gentle and the peacemakers, who stood up for the exploited and abused, who showed compassion for the downtrodden,  who valued women, and who loved his enemies to the point of death.

Christians take seriously the charge Jesus gives us to forgive each other, forgiving over and over and over.  We also take seriously the charge Jesus gives us to take care of every person, most especially the least of these, those who are unable to protect themselves. 

With each word spoken, each blog posted, each tweet or facebook status message, Mr. Driscoll does harm to the least of these. He puts stumbling blocks between God’s children and God’s kingdom.  Christlike forgiveness does not mean we have to allow this harmful behavior to continue. 

On behalf of Christianity, I am so very sorry for the harm Mr. Driscoll continues to do to anyone who isn’t just like him.  I hope you will be able to see that no one person can represent the Church as a whole; we are so varied, so many, so different.  Please don’t let Mr. Driscoll be your only experience of God and God’s church.

With love,
the Undercover Nun

Undercover Nun commends to your reading this excellent piece by Father Frank Pavone.  I also encourage you to set aside any preconceptions you might have about the good Father or his work, when you read the piece.  Take it on its own merit.  A couple samples for you to taste:

Religious violence is an assault not only on the immediate victims, but on all humanity, because it takes a sacred dimension of our existence and abuses it as a tool of destruction.

and

In the Judeo-Christian tradition, the commandment “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain” … means that we should not invoke God to justify doing things that God abhors. Violence against human beings is in fact one of those things.

and

Entering a house of faith should never demand that we leave our minds at the door. Religion does not call for the shutdown of reason. Religious beliefs can and do transcend human reason, but they must never be allowed to contradict it.

and

Ultimately, people abuse religion because they are suffering. Someone has written that the false god transforms suffering into violence, while the true God transforms violence into suffering. True religion, rather than doing violence to the other, suffers with the other. This is the root meaning of the word “compassion” - “to suffer with.”

Undercover Nun finds herself in complete agreement with Fr. Frank’s statement on religious violence.  Violence is an abuse of religion, and violence should be intolerable to Christians.  I know that this world is not perfect, that violence happens and will continue to happen.  But we are charged by Christ to help bring about God’s Kingdom here and now: Thy kingdom come on earth, as in heaven.  This means that is the responsibility of every Christian — including those in elected office — to cry out on behalf of the abused, to stand up and say, “This is wrong, and I will not tolerate it.”

Now.  In the comments on this post, you will see a number of detractors.  Some address the violence that the Church has perpetrated on people, throughout centuries.  To these, I can only say this: I am sorry.  Yes, some of these incidents are indeed vile and abominable.  There was no excuse for the Church to violently stamp out heresy, including the Crusades against Islam (which was seen at the time as just one more new heresy).  There is no excuse for clergy to abuse those under their care.  There is no excuse for anyone representing the Church to give injury or suffering to another person.  I can offer only two things.  First, we are mere humans, and we make mistakes, and I hope you will pray for us.  And second, not all Christians are power-mad abusers; the vast majority of us go quietly about our own lives and work, loving God and trying not to mess things up too badly. 

Other detractors write about abortion.  Let me say clearly here that the moniker Pro Life means many things, including opposition to abortion; however, this term is not synonymous with “anti-abortion.”  Rather, pro-life means an opposition to suffering, violence, and death, and it requires an entire orientation of being that is very taxing to mind, body, and spirit.  Many who call themselves pro-life do not understand this, and thus they take on over-simplified positions that don’t take into account the effects on multiple lives.  My invitation to you is this: Please don’t throw out Christianity because a minority of Christians are abusive.  And please don’t refuse to thoughtfully consider a true pro-life orientation because some who claim the title use it exclusively to mean anti-abortion.

Undercover Nun is not going to express her views on sexuality, contraception, pregnancy, and abortion at this time.  They have absolutely no bearing on this excellent piece of writing by Fr. Frank.  I ask you to consider these questions as red herrings, and to consider the argument against violence based on religion as one area that expresses support for human life.

lipsbetweenthehips:

tamburina:

The terms militant atheism and militant atheist are designations applied to atheists who are, or are perceived to be, hostile towards religion. The term has been used going back to at least 1894 and it has been applied to people from Thomas Hobbes onwards. It had a specific application within the materialism of Marxism–Leninism, and in the early years of the Soviet Union, and more recently the term has been used, frequently pejoratively, to describe atheists such as Richard Dawkins, Christopher Hitchens, Sam Harris and Daniel Dennett.
Julian Baggini defines militant atheism as “Atheism which is actively hostile to religion”, which “requires more than strong disagreement with religion — it requires something verging on hatred and is characterised by a desire to wipe out all forms of religious belief. Militant atheists tend to make one or both of two claims that moderate atheists do not. The first is that religion is demonstrably false or nonsense and the second is that it is usually or always harmful.

i wouldn’t ever go as far as to say that i am at all actively hostile towards religion, nor do i have any desire to eliminate religion (though i do believe that would improve things exponentially). but the last sentence is resonating with me.

The first is that religion is demonstrably false or nonsense and the second is that it is usually or always harmful.

i think it’s quite rude of me to express openly that i think religion is false/nonsense (even though i certainly do), but i wholeheartedly agree that it is usually or always harmful. globally, it’s by far one of the biggest incentives for violence, ignorance and hate. duh.
 

Undercover Nun always saddened when I hear it said that religion is usually or always harmful, and the source of most or all wars.  In fact, religion has brought many great goods into the world, but we humans do tend to weigh tremendous evil more heavily than tremendous good. 

It is not religion itself that is harmful.  It is people who have a pathology, who have deep-seated fears, control issues, feelings of powerlessness (etc.) that lead them to abuse others.  Religion is used by these people as a tool, just as abusers and bullies use politics, laws, rules, and even social customs as tools to put others down and to keep them down.

But this is a perversion of religion.  Religion is our experience of the sublime, of the divine, of that which is beyond us.  It goes by many names, with many stories and legends and myths, with strong or weak doctrine.  Religion itself does not harm people, but religion in the hands of a bully is used to harm others.

I grieve for everyone who has been harmed by religion, especially by my beloved Christianity, and I’ve long felt a specific call to those who have been damaged by the church and/or who are hostile toward the church.  I want to gather them in my arms, hold them while they cry out their pain, and whisper to them, This was not of God.  What was done to you was abuse, and it was done by a bully who is very sick on the inside.  And for every loud, obnoxious bully in the church, there are a dozen faithful and loving Christians who go quietly about living their faith, never showing up on television or in the news because they don’t think it’s anything special — it’s just what they do, who they are.  I promise you, this is not God’s church.  I love you, and I will hold you in the Light.

Fundamentally, I believe all bullying and abuse to be expressions of fear.  And fear is the opposite of faith — the rejection of faith.  Faith is a choice, made continually every day.  Faith is work, it is the conscious turning toward the Divine whenever we notice we’re facing another way.  But fear — fear is a choice, too.  Fear is the conscious turning away from the Holy One, turning our backs and squinting our eyes tightly shut and sticking our fingers in our ears to sing the “La la la, I can’t hear you!” song.

So truly, religion is not the root of bullying, abuse, terrorism, war, genocide.  No, the root of these is fear, which is actually a rejection of religion, even when one appears to be embracing religion to promote these harms and insults to the world.  Were there no religions for fearful people to wield against us, they would find other weapons.

Dear beloved Sister in Christ,

I’m not God.  I can’t explain why this has happened.  But I love you, and God loves you, and neither of us wants to see you hurting.

Your ex-boyfriend sucks.  Truly.  It sounds like he is an abuser, even if he never harmed you physically.  The wounds of verbal and emotional abuse, and the scars they leave behind, are every bit as real as physical injuries.  Most importantly, you are not responsible for his intolerable and reprehensible behavior.  You do not deserve what happened.  What you are responsible for is the choices you may from now on, how you choose to live your life.  Right now, you’re a victim.  The dream of my heart is to see you transformed into a survivor.  That is where God is calling you. 

I know this, because I was a victim, and I’m a survivor now.  I have loved someone who may not ever know how to love.  I married and lived for more than 15 years with an abuser, with someone who punished me until I no longer even needed him to be the punisher: I became perfectly capable of doing it to myself.  I, too, have felt like a ruined woman, like used goods, like a person no man in his right mind would want.

And today, I am married to the most wonderful man in the world.  He’s cute, but goofy-looking.  He’s brilliant, and he’s broken.  He’s just like me, and we’re totally different.  And he treats me like a precious gift.

There is such a thing as a godly relationship, as a Christian romance.  This isn’t necessarily about abstinence or austerity.  It is about the kind of love Jesus calls us to.  It is recognizing your partner as that precious and beautiful gift, a gift that God entrusts to us for a time, to lovingly care for.  It is sometimes about giving up what you want, so that your partner can have what he or she needs; it is also about accepting the gifts your partner has lovingly given you, out of similar sacrifice.  It is about recognizing each day that you are in this relationship, this romance, this partnership because both of you have chosen to be there.  Neither of you is trapped.  Neither of you is forced.  It is your choice.

So you’re not a virgin.  So what!  What is past is past, and the only one who gets to hold that against you is God.  But God is a God of compassion and grace and forgiveness — God chooses not to hold it against you.  So don’t hold it against yourself!  You are beautiful, and you are precious, and you are a gift God has given to all of us.  And when you have trouble believing in that for yourself, I ask you to put your trust in people of faith and grace: we’ll believe in you for you.

This sucky, abusive ex-boyfriend does have one redeeming value.  He brought you to the Church, and he brought you to God.  He may suck as a Christian — I don’t know his heart, so I won’t say he does — but he gave you at least this one, very precious gift.  God exists.  And God will never, ever, ever, ever leave you alone.  Trust me on this one: even when I’ve tried to get God to eff off and leave me the eff alone (and in those words), all God does is take one step back, give me a little space, and stand there, ready to embrace me in God’s loving arms again.  God weeps for you, and God weeps with you.  God aches for your brokenness, and God yearns to fill you with God’s healing light.

In 1998, the abuse I’d experienced in my marriage drove me into a severe depression.  I was hospitalized three times that year, the third time following a suicide attempt.  Yes, I chose to try to end my life; that was the depth of my despair and hopelessness.  But I’m still here.  I may have committed what is called the unforgivable sin, the complete rejection of God; I’ve also learned that anyone afraid of committing this sin, truly has not.  I have walked through the valley of the shadow of death, and I know God is with me.

I know God is with you, dear one, even when you cannot sense God’s presence.

The Lord bless you and keep you.
The Lord make his face to shine upon you
and be gracious unto you.
The Lord lift up the light of his countenance upon you
and give you peace.

And may the blessing of our infinitely-loving, perfectly-forgiving God be with you, beloved sister, in the name of the Father who runs to greet the prodigal with hugs; and in the name of Jesus who lived as a man and experienced abandonment, hopelessness, and rejection; and in the name of the Holy Spirit, who is present with us in wind and water and fire. 

Amen.